One time… (I don’t remember any of this) as a baby, my grandfather who was visiting Hawaii from the mainland came to visit. He took me out to a Dairy Queen and that afternoon, brought me back home to my parents with really bad brown squirts…My mom told him it was the ice cream.
One time… as an adult…while touring with a children’s theatre company based out of Atlanta, I complained every single afternoon of having mild stomach pain (no squirts or gas, just pain). Tisza was on that tour with me and she said to me :
“Maybe it’s something you are eating every day. Is there something that you have consistently every day?”
I thought about it.
There was something I was having every day: MILK CHUG. I always stopped by the convenient store and bought a banana and a MILK CHUG for breakfast. “Maybe you have a milk allergy or are lactose intolerant” Tisza said.
I stopped drinking milk for a whole week. I even cut out cheese and ice cream. That whole week I did not have any stomach pain. I went to my doctor who said to me “you are probably lactose intolerant. Ask your parents, especially your mom, because it’s really common in Asians”.
“But I have been having milk and cheese and ice cream my whole life!” I explained.
“Well, people can develop lactose intolerance, especially since we are not baby cows and shouldn’t be drinking baby cow formula” my doctor said.
I called my mom.
“Yes, you always had a problem. Remember when your grandfather took you to the Dairy Queen?” she said.
“I was a baby!”
“Well you had diarrhea all over the place, it was running down your legs” She told me.
“When were you going to tell me this? You always gave us ice cream and milk and cheese when we were growing up!” I asked her.
“Because milk is good for you, good for you bones. Besides, you stopped getting sick after a while”.
From that point on, I stopped eating all dairy products which was a HUGE mistake. I didn’t get the upset stomach anymore, but when I did have milk—it was really bad. Diarrhea 20 minutes afterwards that smelled like a rat crawled up my ass and died—10 days dead! When I was having the daily milk chug, I had some sort of tolerance. Now I had none.
Today I take a pill every morning called Digestive Advantage Lactose Intolerance.
It’s much cheaper to pay $10 for 30 pills and take it every day once a day, rather than buy Lactaid pills at $8 for 10 and having to pop two EACH time I have something with milk in it (which could be several times a day).
Because of the magic pill I’m allowed to have Ice cream. Digestive Advantage doesn’t always work though. SOMETIMES, (not always) I will still get diarrhea but with Digestive Advantage, at least it’s not 20 minutes later. I won’t even have stomach pain. I’ll just go to the bathroom and notice that it’s not solid.
Some of my friends say it isn’t fair. They think that I can skip the pill, pig out on a large meal,
and then for dessert have some sort of milk product—where the milk will go right through my system taking the large meal (and all the fat and calories) along with it. Sometimes, after a large meal if I feel bloated I will do just that, drink a glass of milk. TADA! Instant flat stomach! HA! (yes thats really a pic of my stomach-- is my new years abs plan working??)
I usually take my pill every morning because I want to be able to have milk products, especially to cool off in the hot NYC summer months. So what do I do to cool off?
Well, I could go chasing after the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck, but there is really nothing gay about it (except maybe the way I run screaming after it). It’s still Mr. Softee Ice Cream just hiding behind a rainbow colored logo and clever marketing.
Or I could have
famous Soap Opera stars like Aiden Turner and Kamar De Los Reyes from All My Children come to my office and make me smoothies. But that doesn’t happen every day.
Besides, it makes it a little awkward fawning over a soap star especially when his wife works for the same ad agency. Just think how embarrassing it would be to explain drooling over this picture on your desktop-- to his wife!
So… to cool off, I head down to the Original Chinatown Ice Cream Factory just off the corners of Bayard and Mott Streets in Chinatown.
It is considered one of NYC Chinatown’s oldest businesses having been there for over 28 years.
Known for their uniquely flavored ice creams, they have taken America’s most popular dessert and coalesced it with an exotic Chinese twist, that makes them an unofficial landmark.
As you walk into the very busy store,
you will notice such flavors as Ginger, Almond Cookie, Wasabi, Zen Butter, and Black Sesame to name a few--not your average flavors.
I decided to go for their signature flavor of Black Sesame Seed. The cream itself looks exactly like Oreo Cookies and Cream until you get up close and realize all those tiny black flecks-- are toasted black sesame seeds in vanilla ice cream. The vanilla ice cream is just the right amount of creamy and just the right amount of sweet.
The black sesame seeds gives it an Oreo-esque flavor (or is that my mind just playing a trick on me?), but with a hint of (burnt)toastiness that totally compliments the cream. DELICIOUS! Even Herbert who tried a bit of mine said that the next time he came he would get the black sesame seed ice cream.
Herbert decided on the Zen Butter. It looked like a creamy French vanilla ice cream but the taste was to die for. We couldn’t put our finger on it at first. In the cream you see toasted white sesame seeds, but there is something more to it.
It wasn’t until later that I picked up a menu and saw that it also contained peanut butter. This did not taste like JUST a peanut butter ice cream. It was DELICIOUS and like its name, brought you a sense of sweet Zen.
If you are looking for a nice way to cool off this summer, and are sick of the overly sweet flavors of Coldstone (in my opinion), try The Original Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. If anything, you get to try something new and I promise you won’t be disappointed.
As for my lactose intolerance….Did the milk pill work for me?
I wasn’t running to the bathroom 20 minutes later. I got home several hours later with no stomach pains or excessive gas. But the ice cream still went right through me. Instant flat stomach.!
For Real! Seriously!
One time… as an adult…while touring with a children’s theatre company based out of Atlanta, I complained every single afternoon of having mild stomach pain (no squirts or gas, just pain). Tisza was on that tour with me and she said to me :
“Maybe it’s something you are eating every day. Is there something that you have consistently every day?”
I thought about it.
There was something I was having every day: MILK CHUG. I always stopped by the convenient store and bought a banana and a MILK CHUG for breakfast. “Maybe you have a milk allergy or are lactose intolerant” Tisza said.
I stopped drinking milk for a whole week. I even cut out cheese and ice cream. That whole week I did not have any stomach pain. I went to my doctor who said to me “you are probably lactose intolerant. Ask your parents, especially your mom, because it’s really common in Asians”.
“But I have been having milk and cheese and ice cream my whole life!” I explained.
“Well, people can develop lactose intolerance, especially since we are not baby cows and shouldn’t be drinking baby cow formula” my doctor said.
I called my mom.
“Yes, you always had a problem. Remember when your grandfather took you to the Dairy Queen?” she said.
“I was a baby!”
“Well you had diarrhea all over the place, it was running down your legs” She told me.
“When were you going to tell me this? You always gave us ice cream and milk and cheese when we were growing up!” I asked her.
“Because milk is good for you, good for you bones. Besides, you stopped getting sick after a while”.
From that point on, I stopped eating all dairy products which was a HUGE mistake. I didn’t get the upset stomach anymore, but when I did have milk—it was really bad. Diarrhea 20 minutes afterwards that smelled like a rat crawled up my ass and died—10 days dead! When I was having the daily milk chug, I had some sort of tolerance. Now I had none.
Today I take a pill every morning called Digestive Advantage Lactose Intolerance.
It’s much cheaper to pay $10 for 30 pills and take it every day once a day, rather than buy Lactaid pills at $8 for 10 and having to pop two EACH time I have something with milk in it (which could be several times a day).
Because of the magic pill I’m allowed to have Ice cream. Digestive Advantage doesn’t always work though. SOMETIMES, (not always) I will still get diarrhea but with Digestive Advantage, at least it’s not 20 minutes later. I won’t even have stomach pain. I’ll just go to the bathroom and notice that it’s not solid.
Some of my friends say it isn’t fair. They think that I can skip the pill, pig out on a large meal,
and then for dessert have some sort of milk product—where the milk will go right through my system taking the large meal (and all the fat and calories) along with it. Sometimes, after a large meal if I feel bloated I will do just that, drink a glass of milk. TADA! Instant flat stomach! HA! (yes thats really a pic of my stomach-- is my new years abs plan working??)
I usually take my pill every morning because I want to be able to have milk products, especially to cool off in the hot NYC summer months. So what do I do to cool off?
Well, I could go chasing after the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck, but there is really nothing gay about it (except maybe the way I run screaming after it). It’s still Mr. Softee Ice Cream just hiding behind a rainbow colored logo and clever marketing.
Or I could have
famous Soap Opera stars like Aiden Turner and Kamar De Los Reyes from All My Children come to my office and make me smoothies. But that doesn’t happen every day.
Besides, it makes it a little awkward fawning over a soap star especially when his wife works for the same ad agency. Just think how embarrassing it would be to explain drooling over this picture on your desktop-- to his wife!
So… to cool off, I head down to the Original Chinatown Ice Cream Factory just off the corners of Bayard and Mott Streets in Chinatown.
It is considered one of NYC Chinatown’s oldest businesses having been there for over 28 years.
Known for their uniquely flavored ice creams, they have taken America’s most popular dessert and coalesced it with an exotic Chinese twist, that makes them an unofficial landmark.
As you walk into the very busy store,
you will notice such flavors as Ginger, Almond Cookie, Wasabi, Zen Butter, and Black Sesame to name a few--not your average flavors.
I decided to go for their signature flavor of Black Sesame Seed. The cream itself looks exactly like Oreo Cookies and Cream until you get up close and realize all those tiny black flecks-- are toasted black sesame seeds in vanilla ice cream. The vanilla ice cream is just the right amount of creamy and just the right amount of sweet.
The black sesame seeds gives it an Oreo-esque flavor (or is that my mind just playing a trick on me?), but with a hint of (burnt)toastiness that totally compliments the cream. DELICIOUS! Even Herbert who tried a bit of mine said that the next time he came he would get the black sesame seed ice cream.Herbert decided on the Zen Butter. It looked like a creamy French vanilla ice cream but the taste was to die for. We couldn’t put our finger on it at first. In the cream you see toasted white sesame seeds, but there is something more to it.
It wasn’t until later that I picked up a menu and saw that it also contained peanut butter. This did not taste like JUST a peanut butter ice cream. It was DELICIOUS and like its name, brought you a sense of sweet Zen.
If you are looking for a nice way to cool off this summer, and are sick of the overly sweet flavors of Coldstone (in my opinion), try The Original Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. If anything, you get to try something new and I promise you won’t be disappointed.
As for my lactose intolerance….Did the milk pill work for me?
I wasn’t running to the bathroom 20 minutes later. I got home several hours later with no stomach pains or excessive gas. But the ice cream still went right through me. Instant flat stomach.!
For Real! Seriously!
2 comments:
the ice cream sounded delicious but i still couldn't get over your hairy stomach, hehehehe! I know I keep saying this, but I still remember the first time I saw your white legs at the beach!!! omg, I still get blinded by it at the thought of it....
but seriously, that ice cream sounds delicious. And great advice for the pills.... I'm lactose intolerant too but I don't get flat stomach after I go, it's still huge!
chelle
man, i love poop stories as much as the next person but the mental image of you as a baby with runny poop running down your legs... gah! LOL
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