Summer's End

This morning when I got off the train, it finally hit me that summer is really over. It made me really depressed. Some friends and I were talking about it the other day. We love the cold weather because there is something fashionably fun about layering clothes, and pulling out scarves and hats. In fact, when I got to my office, some girls were standing around talking about exactly that, which scarves and pashminas they were going to pull out today to look chic (my job is sometimes so Devil Wears Prada). As I got above ground, I noticed that it was such a beautiful sunny morning. The sky was the perfect shade of azure. But there was a slight chill in the air reminding me that Summer was indeed over. It’s not the cold that makes it depressing. Spring is still cold, but it doesn’t feel sad like Autumn does. I think it’s because in the Fall, everything is starting to die. The leaves and plants are dying in preparation for winter. In the subway station this morning, there were hundreds of tiny dead leaves blowing around. I’m not sure how they got under the ground, but I found one in my bag when I got to work… so depressing. I also think that Fall is depressing because as kids, we knew it was time to settle down and get back to school.

As I walked to work this morning, I couldn’t help but also to “settle down” and reflect a little bit about this past year. It has been a really rough year for me. I got really sick in the beginning of the year, and work (at my last company) was becoming tiresome with no guidance or help. Then I found this awesome job in advertising just as my relationship with my partner of 4 years completely fell apart. I had to move out and he got custody of the dogs that I love so much. I visit them, but it breaks my heart when it’s time for me to go home. I cry every time. I miss cuddling up with them and going to sleep, and now that it’s getting colder, even more so.


The holidays are coming up, and I may take a short trip somewhere like Atlanta to see close friends, but I think Thanksgiving and Christmas this year is going to be a doozy even though I have so much vacation time to use. Flight’s home to Hawai’i are nearing the $2000 dollar range and I just don’t know if I’ll be able to swing it this year, even with help from my family.
Halloween is also coming, and for the past two years, my EX and I had been throwing these huge Halloween bashes. I would get excited and all Martha Stewart about these parties, but this year, there will be no party for me to get excited about planning.

Sigh…… maybe something exciting will happen at lunch. or maybe watching the Vice Presidential Debates and Sarah Palin tonite will make me laugh....except I don't have a TV.