Macy's Day Parade

Growing up in Hawaii, on Thanksgiving, while my mother roasted the turkey getting up at 5AM, we put on TV the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. That was until my brother got into high school and then became obsessed with watching football (ugh!)- Then we watched some boring game. After the turkey was done and the Parade was over, we would take the turkey over to my grandmother’s house where our whole extended family would have thanksgiving lunch. Hundreds of relatives!

When I left Hawaii for the Mainland, it became a tradition for me to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade because it was one of the few things for me that made it feel like a holiday on a day that was often spent alone. Sure I’d always end up having turkey somewhere that night, but Thanksgiving morning was usually spent alone.

When I moved to New York 4 years ago, it never dawned on me to go down and watch the parade live. I’m not sure why. Part of me didn’t want to fight the crowds, and part of me knew that I would probably get a better view of the whole thing on TV, warm in my house.

This year though, I decided I was going to go see it live. And the night before, I was going to go see them inflate the balloons on the Upper West Side.

I found a group, the New York Social Network (NYSN) online offering drinks, dinner, and a tour of the balloons being inflated all for $10. Knowing full well it would be full of straight sorority girls and straight boys on the make for sorority girls, I signed Herbelicioius and myself up. I just wanted to see the balloons and if this group could get me closer, so be it.

The night before Thanksgiving, Herbelicious and I dressed like 2 straight preppy college boys, hopped on the train at 6PM and headed to the restaurant where NYSN was meeting. We were supposed to meet at 6:30PM on 80th Street. When we got out of the 81st Street stop at 6:45PM (smack between the 2 streets were the balloons were 76th and 81st), we were not prepared for the hoards and hoards of people blocking the streets viewing the balloons being inflated. There was no way we were going to make it through this crowd to 80th on time, so Heberlicious and I decided to just view the balloons on our own. Anyway, we didn’t want to deal with sorority girls and the boys who would be mad at us because the sorority girls would be all about the gay boys.

The sight of the balloons being inflated was AMAZING! I have never seen anything like it. Giant balloons of familiar characters held down like prisoners by huge nets. The guardrails were literally only 10 feet away from the balloons. We didn’t need a tour, we were already up close!

The First balloons we came across were of Buzz Light Year, and of some Macy’s stars. I felt like a Lilliputian standing next to a tied down Gulliver. And although I know that the balloons are not alive, it just seemed sad to see them held down the way they were.

The next balloon was Sponge bob (who we know is gay)

Kermit the frog tied down in an uncompromising position. I just had to take a picture of his ass and me.

We saw Beethoven

                                                   Shrek....

And Horton from Horton Hears a Who, and several other balloons that we sometimes had to twist our heads to figure out exactly who they were.

Then we had to fight our way to the next block. Why the NYPD think that by blocking sidewalks they will create MORE order is beyond me. Instead, the proceeded to cause MORE CHAOS as grumpy people pushed and shoved their way across streets that didn’t need to be crossed, but had to be because the police said so. There were kids complaining everywhere. I was saying to myself that I’m glad I don’t have kids, but at the same time thought about how nice it would be to share this experience with a kid of my own.

After fighting the crowds for maybe 30 minutes we got to 76th street to see the other balloons. Ronald McDonald who was tied down with his hands outstretched as if he was about to eat Hello Kitty’s ass!




The Energizer Bunny





                                                                     Dora

A fish whose mouth looked like a vagina about to suck up the woman working there (look at her size compared to the balloon--the fish was one of the smallest balloons!)

And a Smurf (who we all know were gay- all men living together in the village, blue probably with blue balls, with a girl whose voice was so raspy she could have been a man too).

We also saw the NYSN group with a sign. Walking around. Sure enough, preppy sorority girls and horny boys. It is exactly my crazy luck that we were late and able to avoid them.

Cold, and thirsty, Herbelicous and I decided to end the evening with booze and strippers at Rawhides. Not too late of an evening though, we had to get up to watch the parade live so that I could see these balloons flying. But 2 drinks and a hot stripper named Marcelo was enough to get us warm… actually get us hot!

Thanksgiving morning was a beautiful morning and we left the Bronx at 9:30 figuring we would catch the parade at around 59th street. We knew we were late and would have to fight the crowds. We ended up on 58th street trying to cross the street just as Buzz Light Year came flying down the street. I was in awe at how cool it looked flying. It was Giant, and being a spaceman, he belonged in the air. It was my crazy luck again that we would be right in front crossing the street as the balloon came down the block.

Herbelicious and I realized that by being in line at the crosswalk, we were in front of the crowds ON the sidewalk and had a better view. If only we could stay there. NYPD kept pushing us to cross. And that is when Herbelicous and I realized that if we kept crossing the street, we would always be in front!! And that is what we did.

We snapped pictures of the floats from in front

Of the Marching Bands

Of Kermit --from literally in front of him as we crossed the street. Our shots look as if we were marching IN the parade.

When Horton came down, we were literally right under him!

                                                                    Shrek

                                                                  Beethoven

                                                                   spongebob

A pirate and pirate ship


And finally Santa Clause which signaled the end of the parade and the start of Christmas.


But where was the rest? The Smurf, and Hello Kitty. We realized that we had missed the first half of the parade. But it was fine, I was cold, and I wanted coffee. Which is exactly what we did since nothing else was open anyway. Being at the parade is amazing. You can feel the excitement in the air, and nothing can prepare you for the sight of a GIANT balloon flying right above. All of the emotions running through me could never be felt by just watching it on TV. I think this will be my new tradition.

Learn Spanish:  Desfile   Parade

                             Globo     Balloon

                              el dia de Accion De Gracias    Thanksgiving